Recycle Writing task:

Recycle Writing Task:

For English every week we are able to choose a task to do and work on it for the week. For this week I am working on the Recycle Writing Task. Recycle Writing task is where you get an old piece of writing and fix it up for it to make sense or add any corrections that are needed. If you want to see the unedited version it's still on my blog from 2017 I think called "Sad Evening".

Re-read the text and list 10 things you enjoy about it and what you think needs to be changed:

I can say that I have improved my writing a lot because in this text there were a lot of mistakes and things that needed to be corrected.

I think for next time I should add more words that aren't so basic. 

I really enjoyed how I was able to lay out everything correctly.

But for next time I think I should really shorten the sentences to make them straight to the point instead of expanding them to seem longer.

I need to work on my grammar.

I loved the way I described the characters in the text.

I loved how I was able to make it somewhat funny for the reader.

But next time I feel really work on trying to hook the reader in more than I have already.

Next time I feel like I should really think of how I want this text to look like, how I want the reader to feel when they read this etc.

Next time I should really ask for people’s advice/thoughts on my writing and ask if I need to change anything. I have tried my best to fix up all the mistakes and put thought into what I have listed above. I have also tried to put better descriptive words in the text to make the piece of writing better.

A Sad Evening:

It was a bright Sunny crisp day,Shawn and Flesha were looking out to the beautiful sea.
The last few weeks it has been gloomy and gross looking outside. Today was the only day
that it was somewhat decent outside. Their lovely bright green and white house was the
attraction to many people in the neighborhood that morning. Shawn and Felsha are parents
of two lovely kids that never failed to motivate them everyday. 

Shawn Mendes Is a year old dad He loves to be a fitness teacher but today he wanted a day
off. Shawn also took a day off because his family were going on a trip to a Halloween party.
But Where it was located was way too far for them so they decided to leave as soon as their
kids got home from school. Another thing that is very embarrassing to admit  about Shawn is
he loves to workout and flex his muscular muscles pretty frequently. Flesha Is the lovely mother
of the family and Is trying to wait patiently for the kids to come home. Flesha loves to cook for
a living and is trying to open her own cooking shop and potentially turn it into a show. She is
also 40 years old and pretty wrinkly for her age. 

 Jeff is 14 years old, he is in high school but hates every moment of it. Everyday he tries to be
sick so he won’t have to go to school. Everyone calls him Caspar the ghost because of how
Pale he is. Bob is the perfect one in the family. He is 10 years old and wants everything he
does to be the best he can do he also has brown hair like the rest of his family. He's the
opposite to his brother because Bob loves school and Jeff doesn't. Jeff and Bob eventually got
home after 20 boring minutes for Shawn and Flesha. 

Bob Hugged Shawn and Flesha (Mum and Dad) then went up to do his homework and get
ready for the Halloween party. While that was happening Jeff dropped his bag and said “Mum,
Dad I need to tell you something important”. They replied in a questionable voice “Sure”.
Jeff was shaking so bad because he was so nervous to admit something. Jeff was so scared
that he tried to talk but nothing came out only grunts. Finally He said “I dropped out of school,
today was my last day”. Shawn and Flesha didn’t know what to do so they decided to Ground
him from any devices and he had to stay in his room till they knew what to do. They had
forgotten all about the Halloween party and at the last minute had to call up and say they
weren't going anymore which devastated Bob when he found out. 

It was the next day Flesha and Bob were mad because they couldn't understand why he made
a decision so fast without thinking of the consequence. They decided on what they were gonna
do. Shawn and Flesha yelled in frustration “Jeff get here We need to talk to you!!!?.
Jeff walked out happy because he didn’t have to go to school well he thinks that. Shawn
said to “Jeff if you don’t want to go to school then you would have to clean dirty toilets for
a living”. Jeff said ”no no please no!!” in a worrying voice. The conclusion of all of this is
Jeff learnt that going to school isn't that bad after all and school can give you many
opportunities that can affect you're life in a good way.